Sunday, July 23, 2017

That sure looks like a mile of cars to me...

July 25, 2017

Let’s talk politics tonight. Just a little. No Donald the Hutt, I promise. Instead, let’s talk other celebrities running for office. I’ve seen Fred Grandy from Love Boat end up in the US Senate, along with Sonny Bono. I’ve seen Ronald Reagan in the White House. I’ve seen Al Franken go from Saturday Night Live to grilling a certain unnamed orange president’s cabinet appointees like a cook at a busy Waffle House. But, despite all those guys, the one I would have voted for in a New York minute was Kurt Russell as Rudy Russo in Used Cars.



Rudy Russo is a used car sales man, working for a very nice guy named Luke Fuchs, played by Jack Warden. Rudy needs money for a run at the State Senate, so he asks Luke for $10,000 to get into the election. Luke agrees to lend him the money, but, before he can actually give it to him, Luke’s brother, Roy L. Fuchs, also played by Warden, arranges an “accident” to get Luke’s bad heart to finally give up on him. It seems Roy L., who is Luke’s main competition in the used car business has his lot directly across the highway from Luke. Roy L. has found out that the new interstate is going in, and the mayor has forewarned Roy L. that it will be cutting right through his property. Roy L. needs Luke out of the way so he can inherit Luke’s car lot and move his much more successful business onto Luke’s property, so he can catch all the interstate traffic.

Rudy and his co-workers find Luke’s dead body, and, to keep Roy L. from taking over, they hide the body and tell Roy L. that Luke went off on a fishing trip. When Luke’s estranged daughter shows up, though, things go from panic to manic. She finds out the truth, and fires Rudy and his friends. She tries to make the lot a go of it, but Roy L. steps in and has her first commercial edited to become a case of false advertising. It is up to Rudy and his pals to save the car lot and put Roy L. out of business.


This movie was written by Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale, the duo who would later go on to write Back To the Future. It was also directed by Zemeckis, only his second feature as a director after I Wanna Hold Your Hand. Steven Spielberg acted as the executive producer for both films, and has since been very cooperative with Zemeckis productions. I say that, though, to say this – this is as far removed from a stereotypical Spielberg movie as you can get. It is rude, crude, vulgar, and it is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.

Russell was just breaking the final ties to his Disney film career when he made Used Cars. And Russell makes the most of it here. He ain’t squeaky clean Dexter Riley anymore, folks. He smokes, he is foul-mouthed, he is conniving, he is greedy as hell, and he will do whatever it takes to get this $50,000 to bribe his way into the State Senate election, even if it takes hijacking a Presidential Address broadcast for one of the most outrageous used car ads in television history. One great moment comes as he works the lot at opening time, going from customer to customer, introducing himself after asking the customer their name. When he learns their name, he immediately adopts a last name to match the ethnicity of the customer. In one 60-second period, he changes his own last name to O’Brien, Garcia, and, the best, after meeting an African-American couple, Rudy Russo becomes Rudy Washington Carver. 

Besides Jack Warden being superb as Roy L. and his dead brother Luke, the rest of the supporting cast is top-notch. Frank McHugh, who was one of the homeless guys living in Cannery Row, is hysterical as Jim the Mechanic, a crude, foul-mouthed, but lovable goof. Deborah Harmon, as Luke’s estranged daughter, Barbara, is fun to watch as she struggles to stay honest in one of the most dishonest careers known to man. Look for Laverne and Shirley’s “Lenny and Squiggy” as Freddie and Eddie, the two guys who help Rudy hijack the airwaves for the most politically incorrect TV commercials ever made. And look for Al Lewis, Grandpa Munster himself, as the judge who has to decide if Barbara’s lame attempt at advertising is a ‘blatant claim of false advertising ever.”

While I love Kurt Russell in this movie, he almost has the film stolen from him by the amazing Gerrit Graham. Graham plays Jeff, the most incredibly superstitious car salesman on the planet. He carries a key chain with a hundred good luck charms on it. He thinks red cars are the ultimate jinx. He plans his life around luck. One of his best scenes in the movie occurs after Jeff, Rudy, and Jim have been fired by Barbara. Rudy is still short on his political bribe money, so Jeff gives him a hot tip on a football game, one based on his crazy superstitions. Rudy bets everything he has against the team, knowing Jeff’s losing record at picking winners. This time, though, Jeff seems to have chosen the winning team. As Jeff, Rudy, and Jim watch the game in a bar, and watch Rudy’s chances at becoming a senator slowly fade away, it occurs to Jim that, in order for Rudy to win, Jeff has to lose. Graham proceeds to do every “bad luck” thing he can do to change the outcome of the game’s last thirty seconds. As he runs around the bar, opening umbrellas, turning over salt shakers, and trying to crawl under a ladder, sure enough, his team begins to play horribly. Graham is so insanely funny in this scene, it almost eclipses his triumph over his own fear at the end of the movie. And no, I will not spoil it for you. You will be glad I didn’t…


Find Used Cars and watch it. Seeing Russell enter his badass phase is fun, and you cannot help but laugh yourself silly at some of the ridiculous jokes. It’s a great way to spend two hours. And, as Rudy loves to say, trust me…

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