Wednesday, August 2, 2017

You didn't think I was what? Serious? You think I'm not serious just because I carry a rabbit?

August 3, 2017

Sometimes, there are movies you just cannot really explain. David Lynch’s Eraserhead, John Waters’ Pink Flamingos, Alejandro Jodorowsky’s El Topo, Emile Ardolino’s Dirty Dancing

Okay, I can explain the PLOT of Dirty Dancing… I cannot explain why it has a following, though… or its existence in this universe…

But there are exceptions to this theory. Every now and then, a movie will appear that you cannot really explain to others, but despite this, the movie is fantastic. Writer/director Martin McDonagh’s Seven Psychopaths is one of these beautiful exceptions.

Colin Farrell stars as Marty Faranan, a screenwriter who is desperately trying to finish his screenplay, a work entitled “Seven Psychopaths.” Marty’s best friend, Billy Bickle (Sam Rockwell of last night’s movie…) is an unemployed actor who wants to help Marty with his screenplay. Billy makes a living now by kidnapping dogs with his partner-in-crime, Hans Kieslowski (Christopher Walken, one of my gods and idols), a deeply religious man with a cancer-stricken wife. Billy and Hans kidnap the dogs then wait for the owners to offer rewards, then give the dogs back after collecting said rewards. Billy suggests to Marty that he include the “Jack of Diamonds,” the mysterious serial killer who has pulled off a double murder in L.A. Marty also has a story about another psychopath known as “The Quaker,” a man who has been stalking his daughter’s murderer for years, finally driving the murderer to suicide and cutting his own throat as the dying killer watches, hhis last memory being The Quaker following him to Hell.

Yeah, it gets even weirder… trust me…

Billy and Hans accidentally kidnap the Shih Tzu, Bonny,belonging to Charlie Costello (Woody Harrelson), a very unhinged and violent gangster. While Billy places an ad in the paper, inviting psychopaths to call him and give him their craziest stories, Costello manages to track Hans down. They take him to a warehouse where they threaten to torture Hans to get Bonny’s location, but the Jack of Diamonds shows up and shoots all the thugs, setting Hans free. Billy and Hans decide to go on the run, with Bonny, and they drag Marty along for the ride.

I honestly cannot tell you any more of the plot without giving away the third act of the movie, which has more freaky, wonderful twists than the Auntie Anne’s Pretzel Shop at your favorite mall.

If you have ever seen Martin McDonagh’s In Bruges, you  know he loves writing and directing movies with some hellacious convoluted stories. I love him for that. Who the hell needs to see the same six plotlines over and over and over again? He shifts it into overdrive with Seven Psychopaths, lemme tell you. He is also a great casting man, too. Seven has so many wonderful stories blended into it, he could have used virtually anyone in some of the smaller supporting roles, but nooooo. He breaks out Sam Rockwell, Christopher Walken, Woody Harrelson, Harry Dean Stanton (Roger Ebert rule in effect!!), Tom Waits (!!!), Zeljko Ivanek (who I know you won’t know by name, but IMDB.com him, and you will know plenty of his work), and more.  And he knocks it out of the park here. I mean he goes “Teddy Ballgame goes YAHHHHHD” with it… Tarantino reference, if you’re curious.. look it up…).

You might think with all this going on, you don’t get more than a flash of character development. Not even close. We learn so many stories of so many characters, and each one is like a Falkner short story, told with precise details and emotional depth. It’s truly amazing this movie is not three hours long. But with a tight 110 minutes, you feel like you have just watched a Godfather-quality level of storytelling. All of these stories slowly mesh into one, and when that one finely-braided rope tightens, you are captured in McDonagh’s net. And you will not mind a bit, I promise.

I have never been much of a Colin Farrell fan. After watching him drown in that morass that was Ben Affleck’s Daredevil, the ridiculous Phone Booth, and the most-unnecessary remake of Fright Night, I was ready to declare his career deader than Kurt Cobain. He flashed a beacon in McDonagh’s  In Bruges, and I thought he might be saved. Then, he hit gold again with this movie. His Marty is the straight man for what amounts to be the whole universe. He is the reactor to the collection of other actors. Marty is a nobody, drawn into an insane adventure he wants no part of, but, at the same time, finds fascinating. His writer’s block starts to erode as the absurdity grows around him. He is really interesting to watch again!

The others in this cast are like dice in a Yahtzee cup. You find yourself watching it shake, and when it dumps out, you get a whole new story. One of the best ones comes from musician/actor Tom Waits. I call him that because, well, I love his music almost as much as I love music itself, but, on the rare occasion when he acts, he always seems to steal the film from the rest of the cast. Not in a bad way at all, though. You just find yourself riveted on everything he says and anything he does. Be it Mystery  Men, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, even Short Cuts, it is Waits who sticks in your head. Here, when his “psychopath” story becomes known, it is horrific, but you don’t even want to try to judge him because it is also heartbreaking. Waits’ Drano-and-gravel cocktail voice adds so much to his dialogue. It echoes the pain his character has gone through, and lived with for all the years since.

There is no need for me to praise Walken’s performance. He seems to play the hell out of every role he gets his hands on. Some may argue that he is basically playing himself in every role, but, I mean, damn! If that is true, how freaky cool has his life been?? Sam Rockwell comes to the true limelight  in this movie as well. He folds into and out of his character smoother than Fast Eddie Felson could stroke a pool cue. He’s a screw-up, and has been one his whole  life, but, dammit, he has tried so hard to get life right, and so many times it has failed, but his Billy just gets up, dusts himself off, and tries again.

Get a copy of Seven Psychopaths and settle in for 110 minutes of genius disguised as bedlam. Don’t sit there with the remote in your hand, daring the movie to be something special. Instead, sit back and say to the movie, “Okay, bring it on. I’m ready for anything.”


You do that, and you will feel that finely braided rope of stories pulling you in. Let it pull you. You will love it when the net falls.

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